Dear Wonderful Readers:

I know everyone hates change, but I have found a blogging community that I like quite a bit more than Blogspot. I am going to keep this blog open for a while so that I can go through and copy my favorite entries onto my hard drive, but I will no longer be posting here. There is good news, though! You can still read my thoughts at my NEW JOURNAL:

Eternal Rant

Which is located at LiveJournal.

If you find this too much of a hassle, I will totally understand and still love you. If not, then come visit me there!!!!!

• posted by The Princess @ 4:01 PM 1 comments

Never put lotion on a part of your body right before you have to apply a band-aid to that part.

• posted by The Princess @ 10:38 AM 0 comments

A meme I totally stole from Trista

Two Names You Go By:
1. The Princess
2. Carmen
(yes, people really do call me Princess, however, I am starting to think they are being sarcastic rather than reverent.)

Two Parts of Your Heritage
1. Being a horrible interrupter
2. Thinking that I'm always right
(I believe I was supposed to put my genealogical heritage, but I couldn't get my mom on the phone to ask her)

Two Things That Scare You:
1. Spiders
2. People who wear their pants too short

Two of Your Everyday Essentials:
1. Sobriety
2. Good hair

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. Pink fuzzy slippers
2. Soft flannel PJ pants

Two of Your Favorite Bands or Musical Artists (at the moment):
1. Norah Jones
2. Van Morrison

Two of Your Favorite Songs - at the moment:
1. Elton John - Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters
2. Journey - Feelin' That Way

Two Things You Want in a Relationship (other than Real Love):
1. Laughter
2. To be KNOWN

Two Truths about you:
1. I am unbelievably mushy.
2. I can be very gullible. (NO, you may NOT use that against me later)

Two things you are attracted to (physically):
1. I'm married and I must say that He's a hunk all the way around.
2. And ALL the way DOWN.

Two of Your Favorite Hobbies:
1. Reading
2. Watching movies

Two Things You Want Really Badly:
1. To move out of this house/job
2. A Dodge Charger

Two Places You Want to go on Vacation:
1. UK
2. Hawaii

Two Things You Want to Do Before You Die:
1. Learn to ballroom dance
2. Finish College

Two Ways that you are stereotypically a Chick/Guy:
1. I love the hair, the makeup the nail polish, the SHOES, the girly girly trappings.
2. I HATE to get dirty or rumpled or messy.

Two Things You Are Thinking About Now:
1. Well, I'm thinking about my husband's legs because of those previous questions and now I'm having a hard time concentrating on this survey.
2. Stuff I have to do later

Two Stores You Shop At:
1. The Jones Store soon to be Macy's (YAY!)
2. Shoe Carnival (duh)

• posted by The Princess @ 10:16 AM 0 comments

This morning on my way to the gym with my husband I fell head over heels down the stairs.



I missed the first step, then when I put my foot down only half way on the second step I felt my ankle twist, so I picked it up again and completely missed the third step and tried to reach around and grab the railing but only succeeded in breaking the railing into three pieces on the way down with what I believe was my nose.


This is how my face looks after breaking the railing with it and then falling down the stairs and then crying and hyperventilating for half an hour afterward.

My poor 13 year old daughter heard the crash and opened the basement door, saw me laying in a crumpled heap and burst into tears. She thought I was dead. I guess she didn't hear me YELLING "ow ow ow ow that hurt really bad" and then crying and hyperventilating.

I thought for the first ten minutes or so that I had broken or fractured my leg because it hurt so bad. I did NOT break my leg, Mom. I am, however, going to have some LOVELY huge bruises when these babyies have had a couple of days to really bloom:


And you should see the other guy:



Finally, I have been provided with a companion during my convalescence:


I think you should all feel real sorry for me and send flowers and candy and a new car.

• posted by The Princess @ 11:26 AM 3 comments

Well, I went to an ALLERGIST today.

Allergist= very expensive doctor

After asking me a hundred questions and scratching me with test LANCETS
in 42 different spots on my back she still doesn't know what the hell is wrong with me.

(Lancets = little needles to scratch you with 42 times)

She said my rash doesn't look like normal Hives, but that doesn't mean it's NOT Hives. However, she did give me a very expensive prescription for an antihistimine used to treat Hives and made me change my body lotion and soap.

Did you know that Hives can last anywhere from 2 weeks to 20 years?

Then she charged me about a million dollars and walked away. Whatever. If she can make me stop itching, it's worth it.

• posted by The Princess @ 4:20 PM 0 comments

I had to go to the dentist today. What really sucked is that I THOUGHT I was just going in to have some impressions made for a couple of crowns. HA! Little did I know the torture my dentist had in store for me. I go to the Dental College because:

1.I have no insurance and it's, like, a third of the cost of a real dentist.
2.I actually get better care there because the students (who are in their third year) have to have all their work GRADED and so are very very thorough.

I have been very lucky to have had 2 wonderful students so far. My current dentist is RICK. I like him a lot. He's very nice and very gentle and loves to joke around which puts me at ease. EXCEPT TODAY. The only reason Rick is still my friend today is because he brought me free whitestrips.

I have to have a POST made for my newly root canal-ed tooth. He had to put me in the chair, turn me practically upside down (it's an upper tooth) and give me shots. Then, he spent a LOT of time drilling, drilling, drilling, out the old composite filling. Then he spent a LOT of time poking me with this thing he was using to make the mold for the post that will be made in the lab out of some kind of metal. Then he had wrap this cord thing around my tooth up UNDER MY GUM which hurt a LOT so I had to get MORE SHOTS. IN MY PALATE. Which made me cry. Then, when he saw I was crying, he was really nice and concerned and wiped my tears away and that made me cry harder because I had already been standing on my head in that stupid chair for 2 and 1/2 hours and I was getting a LITTLE STRESSED. Then, this teacher came over to help and she talked and talked and talked about what to do while I lay there UPSIDE DOWN hoping she would shut the hell up so he could finish. THEN they poked me some more and by the time he was actually putting in a TEMPORARY crown (which is very fragile and I can't chew with it) all the numbness was gone so they were POKING ME WITHOUT NOVACAINE.

FOUR hours and $150.00 later I got to leave.

My mouth hurts.

• posted by The Princess @ 4:01 PM 0 comments

• posted by The Princess @ 10:27 AM 0 comments

I heart Google.

• posted by The Princess @ 1:09 PM 0 comments

• posted by The Princess @ 1:06 PM 0 comments

Ok, so after watching the mysterious rash appear, going to the doctor where I was told it was "poison ivy", enduring the insanity that was steroids, having the rash come back with a VENGEANCE after the steroid therapy, discontinuing all my favorite skin products in the hope it was an allergy to them, and having the rash remain EXACTLY AS IT WAS before the initial doctor's visit, I have decided that I am allergic to AIR.

In light of this discovery, I must now live out the remainder of my life in a Plastic Bubble where everyone will bring me everything I need, including presents and candy, and famous people will start charities to try and cure me. I will be on Regis and Kelly in my portable bubble sharing my heartbreaking/heartwarming struggle with skin problems and Norah Jones will sing at my birthday party.

Does anyone know a good dermatologist?

• posted by The Princess @ 10:23 AM 3 comments

What the hell? You say that channels 149 through 171 are all different kinds of movie channels. There's love, action, drama, westerns, mystery, family, etc. Each channel has it's own genre. Then why the hell do you play the SAME TEN MOVIES on all the channels, only at different times of the day and pretend like they are all different channels? WHY? Did you think I wouldn't notice? Do you think I'm STUPID or something? And how dare you sell this idea to HBO? They do the SAME THING. I get 10 HBO channels and they all PLAY THE SAME MOVIES over and over again. I have seen Ferris Buehler so many times I could come into the cable company office and act out the ENTIRE MOVIE for you complete with reciting the credits at the end. I swear, if it weren't for Divine Design on HGTV I would totally cancel my cable.

• posted by The Princess @ 9:07 AM 0 comments

And that is chocolate shoes. I saw this on Shoewawa and just had to share it. How cool are these? I haven't had anything sugary in my mouth since April, but if someone bought me chocolate shoes, I might break my fast. (hint hint - I want the polka dot ones)

• posted by The Princess @ 6:33 PM 3 comments

This is how I felt today. I was at the Dental College having a root canal. At the college, when they do endodontics, they put this green rubber dam thing around the tooth to protect it from all the evil bacteria swarming in my mouth. Then they make it taught with this plastic frame thing. Then they stick the suction thing inside your cheek. Then, of course, they put their hands and a bunch of drills and pokey things in your mouth, too. Then they ask you questions. I am almost positive that there is a class they take somewhere on how many items you put in the patient's mouth BEFORE you ask them about their kids.

So, after putting all this stuff in my mouth, he has the audacity to want to take and x-ray and wants to shove the x-ray film in there, too! I immediately thought of this cartoon. I almost asked him if he needed a tennis ball, just for fun.

I am currently trying to drink a cup of coffee, even though I cannot feel the entire right side of my face (my right, not yours). I am afraid to look down and see how much of the coffee I am wearing as opposed to how much is actually making into my mouth.

• posted by The Princess @ 12:27 PM 0 comments

Dar Lovely Readers:

I have just had my first incident of comment spam (which I have deleted because I HATE SPAM!!!), and so to keep it from continuing I have implemented word verification on my comment page. It is merely to make sure that the person leaving a comment is actually a person who either knows me or is an actual person interested in my blog not some JERK WHO IS USING MY BLOG TO INCREASE THEIR RANKING ON GOOGLE.

If you have a website you want me to check out, feel free to email me with it and If I think it is cool, I will post it here. Just click on the I LOVE MAIL banner there on your right. ------------->


Thank you for your understanding and your continued presence here in my little corner of the net.

LOVELOVELOVE
carmen

• posted by The Princess @ 10:47 AM 1 comments

I woke up this morning cranky. Not too surprised as it's Monday and I'm mostly cranky all the time anyway. I was going to sit down here and rant and rave and SNARK as one of my ferrety internet friends puts it. I was going to rant about how much I hate my job and how I can't wait to move and how crazy my family makes me with their slobness.

But first I had to go to the gym. The damn endorphins kicked in and you can't be cranky when you are on an endorphin high.

Then my squishy friend came and who can stay cranky when Isaac flashes those baby blues and chubby cheeks?

Then a girl I sponsor called me and anytime I talk to an alcoholic who just found their bottom it makes me grateful for my few little years of sobriety and sanity.

Then my teenage daughter came home with her friends who worship the ground I walk on because they think I am the coolest mom in the universe (they don't live with the daily crankyness that is me). They wanted hugs. How can you be cranky when you are hugging people that think you rock?

Then I went to a meeting which is ALWAYS good for my attitude. How can you be cranky in a room full of grateful people in recovery?

Then I came home and made some dinner for my husband who thinks I'm hot even when I don't wear makeup. How can you be cranky when you are with someone who has promised to love you even when you get old and wrinkly?

Then I had a conversation with my teenager daughters that didn't involve any complaining, whining, manipulation, or crying (and they didn't do any of that stuff either). How can you be cranky when teenagers are being nice?

Somewhere along the way I forgot how cranky I was and realized I had had a good day.

Go figure.

• posted by The Princess @ 9:15 PM 1 comments

FUNKYPANCAKE, the first photoblog I ever stumbled across and still read everyday, is this cool guy in the UK who takes pictures everyday on his way to work and back. Usually interesting stuff he sees on the sidewalk, signs, pop cans on fences. There are a lot of photos of his beautiful kids. But today I must direct you to a wall mural. Now, when you go to the site, make sure you click on the picture to see the big version. Look closely at the thugs. Thug For Life. I love it.

• posted by The Princess @ 8:41 AM 1 comments

I totally stole this link from Growabrain.

Here are 10 of my favorites:

#53. knowing that your two-year-old $2000 computer is now a mere toy
#59. unfathomable computer video games that are instantly mastered by subliterate pre-adolescents
#118. joggers who perform ostentatious stretching exercises in public places
#130. anything with pesto sauce
#198. flatulence
#296. the need to purchase separate shoes for walking, jogging, tennis and basketball
#317. people who ask "How are you?" but don't really want to know
#381. the fact that it's easier in the U.S. to obtain handguns than Cuban cigars
#538.the fact that Tom Cruise is more famous than John Adams or Charlemagne
#566. the fact that Walt Disney World is the biggest single tourist attraction in the U.S.

I didn't read all 714, But I skimmed all 714.


714 Things to be Cynical About. Check it out.

• posted by The Princess @ 4:23 PM 0 comments

Ok, so I'm totally addicted to Interior Design shows. I watch, like, 5 of them every single day. I am absolutely enthralled with the amazing stuff they do with fabric. Although I don't think I will become an interior designer, I have decided that the best way to get fabulouse bedding, draperies, seat cushions, and throw pillows is to make them yourself out of the fabrics you love. So. I need to learn to sew and that means I need a machine. Anyone out there have one they want to give me? Anyone out there have one they want to sell me dirt cheap? Anyone out there want to buy me one for Christmas? If I get a sewing machine I am going to take a sewing class.

You know, I am always complaining about the lack of gorgeous clothes for women my size. Perhaps I will make all my own clothing, too. Maybe I will become a fabulously wealthy fashion designer. Maybe I will be famous and rich. Maybe pigs will fly.

• posted by The Princess @ 3:50 PM 1 comments

Yes, you are cute. You look awesome in your hiphuggers with the slightly flared leg over those great clogs. Yes, all those guys are looking at you shake your stuff. But let me tell you, when you start to walk you ruin the whole look. PICK YOUR DAMN FEET UP,GIRL! What the hell? You are shuffling around like an 80 year old man who's deaf and can't find the refrigerator. I know you have more energy than that, girls your age can tear through the mall spending every bit of Daddy's money in 10 minutes flat. If you're shuffling because you can't keep your shoes on, wear shoes that have backs on them! Ever heard of straps? Learn to walk in them or don't wear them. And stand up straight! You want to look like the hunchback when you're 40? Geez.

• posted by The Princess @ 2:10 PM 0 comments

Since I posted a picture of my buddy, AND because today I learned how to remove red-eye with GIMP.



Yes, he's unbelievably cute and he totally owns me. It's probably a good thing that I'm not his mom, or he'd be ruined.

• posted by The Princess @ 3:49 PM 0 comments

While reading an article link from one of my favorite blogs, Growabrain, I found this sentence:


....who disappeared into the Peruvian Amazon...and emerged a year later naked and covered in body paint....



Sounds like way more fun than my life.

• posted by The Princess @ 9:36 AM 1 comments

"I need a nosehair trimmer."



It's like my mustache is moving up into my nose.

Ok. When he starts saying he needs an ear hair trimmer, I may have to move.

• posted by The Princess @ 8:54 AM 1 comments

As many of you know, I have a husband and two teenage daughters. Along with the 2 clients that live in our home that I care for. That's 6 people, also we have a dog, a cat, and an empty fish tank. Now, as you can imagine, 6 people require many towels. Towels for (3) bathrooms, towels for the kitchen, towels/rags for cleaning, and old, crappy towels for other jobs like dog bathing, wiping up coffee spills, etc. I have 2 hall closets for towel/linen storage. I also have a couple shelves and drawers dedicated to towel storage in the kitchen. I have a lot of towels.

A few weeks ago I noticed that my towel population was rapidly diminishing. First I noticed that the bath towels were disappearing. Then it occured to me that I used to have 4 dishcloth/kitchen towel sets and was now down to 1 dishcloth and 1 towel in the kitchen. Hmmmmm. Also, all the cleaning towels and rags were gone. OK, so I am a pretty organized (some would call me ANAL) person. Especially in my kitchen where I spend a LOT of time. Everything has a place and I always put everything BACK in it's place when I am done with it. My kitchen towels NEVER leave the kitchen. Why would they? They get used in the kitchen and the laundry nook is in the kitchen so they should always be there. They were all GONE. This went on for a couple weeks as I was hoping they would miraculously reappear. No such luck.

Just as I was considering embarking on a trip to Wal-Mart for a whole new set of kitchen towels to replenish my mysteriously missing items I had a thought: Perhaps I should have my teenagers search their rooms first. So, after many protestations of "we don't have your towels" and other assorted moans and groans, I persuaded them to "JUST LOOK ANYWAY!". My younger daughter found quite a few towels in her room (big surprise) buried in the closet and under her bead and in her underwear drawer. However, even amid the mountain of bath towels (she had used every towel in the house and instead of washing them had reverted to using her terry cloth robe as a towel) there was still only ONE kitchen towel.

So, I turned to the oldest (she's 18).

I say: "Maybe there are some towels buried in that pile of clothes in the floor of your closet?"

She says: "MOM! I can GUARANTEE you that there are absolutely NO towels in my closet."

I said maybe I would just go check for myself. After finding several towels laying around the room she had already scoured for towels, I managed to find a pile of towels that would rival the leaning tower of PISA buried in her closet. INCLUDING ALL MY KITCHEN TOWELS.

These children had used all the towels that go in their bathroom, My bathroom, the clients bathroom, the dog bathing towels, and then moved on to hand towels and dishrags in their efforts to NOT EVER DO LAUNDRY.

I have now incorporated a family towel usage system that is much like a library. If you want a clean towel, you must bring me a dirty towel in exchange.

Yes, I have become a towel nazi.

• posted by The Princess @ 12:57 PM 3 comments

I recently posted a list of rules for "Dating My Daughter." I credited Jack Yoest. He has sent me a very nice email thanking me for the traffic to his site, but he cannot take credit for the list. The true author of the list is Bruce Cameron, author of the book "8 Simple Rules for Dating my Teenage Daughter", which of course, prompted the TV show that the Late Great John Ritter starred in. Thanks to Jack for Re-directing me and Thanks to Bruce for the awesome list.

• posted by The Princess @ 11:19 AM 0 comments

Or more commonly known as TIVO. It's funny, really. When Comcast first began offering DVR as an add on to digital cable I got it "for Chuck" because he wanted it. But guess who learned how to use it first? Guess who is totally addicted to it? Guess who fills up the damn thing with a bunch of silly shows? ME. I mean, come on, how cool is it to watch whatever you want at the EXACT MOMENT that you want to watch it? AND you can fast forward through commercials faster than the speed of sound? I mean it, every time I go through the commercials it breaks the sound barrier. Ok, so I tape a couple of things a week for Chuck, just so he doesn't feel left out, but let's be realistic, the DVR is MINE. (sorry honey)

Here's a sample of some of the stuff I am completely addicted to:

Divine Design (HGTV)
Design on a Dime (HGTV)
Designer Finals (HGTV)
Designer Challenge (HGTV)
Landscaper Challenge (HGTV)

(I know, it's pathetic)

Twins
The Office (american version)
My Name is Earl
Miami Ink (TLC)
What Not to Wear (TLC)

I used to be all about the TLC shows like Trading Spaces and Clean Sweep, but I am completely captivated by the before and afters of the interior decorating shows. I especially LOVE Divine Design with Candice Olson. I have already informed Chuck that if we ever win the Lottery I am totally bringing her down from Canada to completely decorate my home. She rocks. I am so obsessed I have thought about going back to college for interior design. However, I am not sure about all the measurements and numbers and mathematics involved. We'll see if it lasts. If I haven't got over my obsession in like a year, then maybe I will enroll.

• posted by The Princess @ 10:35 AM 1 comments